It’s okay to change. Most of the time we make the best decisions we can based on the available evidence and information we have available to us at the time. As time goes on new information becomes available.
It reminds me of story of a little boy I once knew. He was in the 4th grade and was an excellent student. Good grades. Got along well with the other kids. He was such a hard worker. But one day, well into the school year, he had a change. He started doing poorly in class. Wouldn’t do his homework. Didn’t want to cooperate. After talking with him for a bit, I found out that he really liked his 4th grade teacher and wanted her to be his teacher the next year too. The only way that could happen is if he failed the 4th grade. Sometimes what seems odd, or even crazy, on the surface, may make sense at a deeper level. Part of him wants to stay put, but part of him was curious and wanted to change and experience new things like the 5th grade. Another part of him was also excited that it was near Summer break and that would give him some time to think and be able to change one’s mind. I wonder which part of him you would have talked to if you wanted to know that lots of changes are part of growing. Maybe the curious part?
All I know is when I talked to him about the different parts of growing up he listened very closely and loved the 5th grade and his new teacher.
The way I see it is, you are a work in progress. Everything that you say, do and think comes from programs that get built into you from the time you were a baby until now. Everything you are or think you are comes from how you were taught and how you learned how to act and be. If you are still breathing, you are still learning. Now, with new information, some of the old programs and patterns may be outdated. It’s okay to change.