You Don’t Have to Relive Your Past to Change Your Relationship With It One of the questions I sometimes ask someone sitting across from me sounds a little strange at first. “When did this response make sense?” Not: What’s wrong with you? Why aren’t you over this? Why are you still letting this bother you? Why can’t you just move on? When did this response make sense? Because sometimes the thing causing problems in your life today started as a perfectly understandable response to something that happened yesterday. Maybe yesterday was last year. Maybe it was twenty years ago. Maybe…
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Understanding Your Internal Alarm System A smoke detector has one job. Detect smoke. That’s it. It doesn’t know whether your house is on fire or you left the toast in the toaster thirty seconds too long. It detects something that might indicate danger and sounds the alarm. Loudly. Which is exactly what you want when there’s a fire. It’s considerably less helpful when you’re standing underneath it waving a dish towel because breakfast got a little crispy. But here’s the interesting part. The smoke detector isn’t necessarily broken. It’s trying to protect you. It’s just responding to something that isn’t…
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Understanding the Automatic Patterns That Keep Us Stuck “I know better.” I have heard some version of those three words more times than I could possibly count. I know I shouldn’t worry about this. I know I need to say no. I know I don’t need everybody’s approval. I know this person isn’t the person who hurt me. I know cigarettes are bad for me. I know I’m safe. Usually, the person saying those words isn’t confused about what they should do. That’s what makes the problem so frustrating. They already understand it. They’ve thought about it. They’ve probably talked…
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How the Mind Slowly Loses Its Sense of Order Mental chaos rarely appears overnight. It usually develops gradually as stress, unresolved experiences, and repeated thought patterns accumulate over time. Most people move through predictable stages before they finally reach the point where they seek help. Understanding these stages helps people recognize where they are and what kind of support they may need. Level 1 Background Noise At this stage, life mostly functions normally. The person works, maintains relationships, and manages daily responsibilities. From the outside, nothing seems wrong. But internally something has begun to change. Thoughts start looping more often.Stress…
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We often grow up thinking that holding on tight is what strong people do, while letting go means you’re weak. We’re told that grit, pushing through, and never quitting are signs of true character. But, you know, sometimes the real strength lies in knowing when to drop what doesn’t serve us anymore—be it a toxic relationship, a bad habit, or even a dream that’s turned into a nightmare. The Struggle with Release Letting go? That’s not always as easy as it sounds. The idea of losing control, of releasing someone or something we’re used to, can be terrifying. We get…
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It’s often said that your thoughts shape your reality. This phrase holds immense truth. What you focus on in your mind often manifests in your life, influencing your perception of the world, your behavior, and even the opportunities you attract. But while your thoughts play a critical role in shaping your experience, there’s an important distinction to remember: you are not your thoughts. This simple yet profound realization can transform the way you navigate through life. When you learn to observe your mental chatter without attachment, you open up a space for clarity, peace, and the freedom to choose differently.…
Comments closedYou have been lied to… Imagine losing a year of doing something you have loved doing for 60 years because of a traumatic accident and the lie you’ve been fed that it’s too hard or will take a long time to heal. Now, imagine how you would feel if you got your life back in less than an hour of your very first session. That’s what I do… For decades, people have been led to believe that healing from severe trauma and PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) is a long, arduous process that takes years to navigate. You’ve probably heard it…
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In the world of holistic health, the concept that negative energy can impact our physical well-being is gaining traction. This idea suggests that the emotions and energy surrounding us, even from past generations, can have profound effects on our health. A compelling example of this phenomenon comes from a study involving a World War II veteran who survived a Kamikaze attack. This study illustrates how deeply embedded trauma can trigger physiological responses, even decades after the initial event. The WW2 Veteran Study In this study, a World War II veteran, who had survived a Kamikaze attack, was asked to watch…
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It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and pushed to our limits by the actions and words of others. Many people seek guidance on how to navigate these external pressures without losing their composure. As a mental wellness coach and coach, I often hear clients express their desire to learn techniques for preventing others from “pushing their buttons.” However, my approach to emotional well-being goes deeper than teaching mere defense mechanisms. Instead of focusing on how to keep others from pushing their buttons, I show my clients how to remove those buttons altogether. The Concept of “Buttons” To understand the significance of…
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In our fast-paced, modern world, pursuing happiness is like chasing a mirage in a desert. Many people spend their lives searching for happiness in external achievements, material possessions, and the validation of others, only to find that these sources offer fleeting moments of joy at best. The truth, however, is that happiness is not elusive—it is just often sought in the wrong places. Genuine happiness is not out there in the external but resides within each of us. The External Pursuit of Happiness From a young age, society conditions us to believe that happiness is linked to external accomplishments. We…
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