You Don’t Have to Relive Your Past to Change Your Relationship With It One of the questions I sometimes ask someone sitting across from me sounds a little strange at first. “When did this response make sense?” Not: What’s wrong with you? Why aren’t you over this? Why are you still letting this bother you? Why can’t you just move on? When did this response make sense? Because sometimes the thing causing problems in your life today started as a perfectly understandable response to something that happened yesterday. Maybe yesterday was last year. Maybe it was twenty years ago. Maybe…
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Understanding Your Internal Alarm System A smoke detector has one job. Detect smoke. That’s it. It doesn’t know whether your house is on fire or you left the toast in the toaster thirty seconds too long. It detects something that might indicate danger and sounds the alarm. Loudly. Which is exactly what you want when there’s a fire. It’s considerably less helpful when you’re standing underneath it waving a dish towel because breakfast got a little crispy. But here’s the interesting part. The smoke detector isn’t necessarily broken. It’s trying to protect you. It’s just responding to something that isn’t…
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Understanding the Automatic Patterns That Keep Us Stuck “I know better.” I have heard some version of those three words more times than I could possibly count. I know I shouldn’t worry about this. I know I need to say no. I know I don’t need everybody’s approval. I know this person isn’t the person who hurt me. I know cigarettes are bad for me. I know I’m safe. Usually, the person saying those words isn’t confused about what they should do. That’s what makes the problem so frustrating. They already understand it. They’ve thought about it. They’ve probably talked…
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In our exploration of various therapeutic modalities, hypnotherapy often emerges as an intriguing yet misunderstood field. I want to see if I can demystify hypnotherapy for some of you by steering clear from popular misconceptions of stage hypnosis and instead, draw an analogy to a lighthouse guiding vessels through stormy seas. Envision yourself navigating a ship amid a tumultuous sea. Suddenly, you find yourself amidst a violent storm. The waves thrash against your vessel, winds bellow, and visibility is significantly reduced by the dense mist. The situation is overwhelming and incites fear. Amidst this chaos, imagine sighting a lighthouse in…
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Is hypnotherapy for stress relief effective? Stress can be defined as a state we experience when there is a mismatch between perceived demands and our perceived ability to cope. Stress can also be defined as an adaptive response by a body to change in the environment. Stress response evolved to enable humans to deal with life-threatening dangers or stressors such as being confronted with a wild animal or perhaps a hostile human. Situations like this required action – the activation of stress response to wither stay and fight or to run away. Today we hopefully won’t have to face the…
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Mindfulness meditation for beginners, what is it and how do I get started? There are many styles and types of meditation. There are also just as many ideas and misconceptions about meditation and what it is and what it isn’t. If you are a beginner haven’t done much meditating, it might seem a bit strange or complex to you — something you want to do but don’t know how to get started. Is it difficult to do? My mind constantly wanders. How do you control your mind? (spoiler: you don’t) I don’t know if I can be disciplined enough. Does…
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Depression is a bad habit. That’s right, it’s a habit. It’s a compelling habit, but still a habit. Anything done with repetition, felt with repetition, and even thought with repetition creates a habituated pattern in the brain, in the body, and in the biochemistry regardless of cause. I don’t even need to hear the labels you have been given by others or by yourself. You are not your actions or emotions, so it’s time you quit defining yourself by them. You are not depressed. You feel a state of depression. That feeling is not you. It is an emotion created…
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